How do we learn to be fair?

"I'm a kid who has enough love. I'll never run out." Nate, age 4

Corner of the Sky by Ani, age 5

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​It was nap-time. Only Ani, our Singing Guru and Keeper of the Peace, was awake. She was in her Queendom, the Art Studio, which is where she spent a great deal of her time, unless we were outside, where she was often perched upon an impromptu stage reminding us all to "Let It Go" in her best 5-year-old Elsa from Frozen voice. She had just shown me her drawing of Corner of the Sky which inspired an answer to a question I had been pondering for quite some time. 

"Hey Ani, there are as many days left in the school year as there are kids at Corner. Do you think you could make a drawing for each of the children and we'll send a drawing of yours home each day? That way we can count down the days together."

Regally, she agreed. And though I imagined a different outcome, Ani chose to make 15 copies of her drawing of Corner of the Sky, each with a heart upon the roof and my cat asleep beside the front window. 

​Giving each child a copy of the same picture is one way to be fair, but that isn't always possible. At some moment in early development children are able to recognize when things are not fair. "I had that first." "You can't say 'You can't play'." "You're not being nice to me." These are all injustices that are done to us, but what about the ones we inflict? When does the recognition of our own unfair action begin to register within us? Empathy is a learned behaviour, so how does it awaken?  

I want to inspire do-ers, and think-ers, and feel-ers. To be kind and considerate one must feel they have "enough". That giving of themselves will not diminish their own internal supply. That sharing will enhance the experience. That a moment spent caring for someone else begets the building blocks for trust and relationship. This is not a simple task, and like most interactions with children kicks up those same underlying questions in ourselves... how do we know when we have enough? How do we remain fair in not only the bounteous moments, but the barren ones as well?

​The Cloud Spinner, also know as Cloth From the Clouds tells the story of a young boy who can spin cloth from the clouds. He learned this gift from his mother though we never meet her. Instead we hear the refrain she taught him to sing as he weaves, "Enough is enough and not one stitch more."

This is a story about caring for the earth, about honestly asking ourselves what we truly need, and differentiating that from what we want to have. This is a story of love and greed and the courage to ask "Is it too late to undo what has been done?"

Knowing there is enough helps to quiet the fears that often lead to "This isn't fair." Learning to recognize when we have enough takes practice. Teaching it requires modelling.