When The Rules Don't Apply
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"No Boys Allowed" a sign beside The Tent, made by Hazel and Nora, both 5 years old |
"I discovered that 'Who Cares' isn't nice." Jack, age 4
Sitting outside my neighborhood coffee place I overheard one line of the passing conversation. "I guess the rules are different here." For some, that statement may be an expression of discomfort, lost footing, the bottom falling out; not knowing the rules can create uncertainty. It made me smile.
Corner of the Sky is a unique place. We have a few rules for safety that are teacher-made, and the rest we vote on as a community. Because of this the rules are always changing, and we've survived a variety of mighty strange rules. Take the sign above, for instance. We talk repeatedly about there not being Girl Spaces or Boy Spaces at school, and the children will passionately remind each other of this. On this particular day, Nora and Hazel had built a very complex Tent beside the Climbing Tree. As 5 year olds who had been sharing this yard for several years, the play within and around The Tent was equally complex. But the yard is a busy place and their Tent didn't seem to be intruding on anyone else's play.
I don't remember how my attention was called to it, but I do remember that once I was told what the sign said, I was the only one ready to protest. As I watched Hazel and Nora, and the 'gaggle of guys' close by, no one seemed bothered by their need for Girl Space. I watched for a while, debating silently if there was anything new to gain by pointing out the obvious. Was I missing a Teaching Moment? Was some injustice being done to the excluded and uninterested boys? Do I step in simply because we made a rule about this?
I chose not to disrupt the play that day. Sometimes the rules are there to create parameters; for safety, for conformity, for guidance in the areas of social conduct we are all still learning our way in. In the greater world there ARE Girl Only Places and Boy Only Places. There's both a fairness to this and an injustice. Exclusion happens. My hope is that all our community voting will foster independent thinkers confident that change can happen, and ready to help change the rules that no longer serve the world they have inherited from us.
Corner of the Sky is a unique place. We have a few rules for safety that are teacher-made, and the rest we vote on as a community. Because of this the rules are always changing, and we've survived a variety of mighty strange rules. Take the sign above, for instance. We talk repeatedly about there not being Girl Spaces or Boy Spaces at school, and the children will passionately remind each other of this. On this particular day, Nora and Hazel had built a very complex Tent beside the Climbing Tree. As 5 year olds who had been sharing this yard for several years, the play within and around The Tent was equally complex. But the yard is a busy place and their Tent didn't seem to be intruding on anyone else's play.
I don't remember how my attention was called to it, but I do remember that once I was told what the sign said, I was the only one ready to protest. As I watched Hazel and Nora, and the 'gaggle of guys' close by, no one seemed bothered by their need for Girl Space. I watched for a while, debating silently if there was anything new to gain by pointing out the obvious. Was I missing a Teaching Moment? Was some injustice being done to the excluded and uninterested boys? Do I step in simply because we made a rule about this?
I chose not to disrupt the play that day. Sometimes the rules are there to create parameters; for safety, for conformity, for guidance in the areas of social conduct we are all still learning our way in. In the greater world there ARE Girl Only Places and Boy Only Places. There's both a fairness to this and an injustice. Exclusion happens. My hope is that all our community voting will foster independent thinkers confident that change can happen, and ready to help change the rules that no longer serve the world they have inherited from us.