Use Your Words
What does that even mean? "Use your words" implies that the person you are speaking to has a great knowledge and understanding of words, and could therefore choose to express their feelings/ideas/intentions more clearly. In my mind this phrase seems more applicable to Grown-Ups than children. It's up to us, the Grown-Ups in a child's world, to build and encourage this great knowledge of words. We are the ones with years of experience gaining vocabulary, scrutinizing the unique qualities of words, or at least finding them interesting enough to gather an expresssive collection, and learning to use them to both illuminate and disguise meaning. It's up to us to model the use of words; to choose them wisely and teach them to the children in our lives.
Ani DiFranco sings "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right" and words are powerful tools. I have both relished and cringed at the moments I have heard my words repeated by a Little Person.
We've become a society that likes to give orders. I think it started innocently:"Have a nice day", "Drive safely", "Don't be a stranger" but loving or not, these phrases are all still orders. And over time we've dropped the 'I' in these orders: "Love you", "Just wanted to say hi", "Thinking about sushi for dinner". We Grown-Ups are able to understand all the implied generosity and intimacy that these subject-less orders hold, but when we speak to children like this we are modelling an abrupt, and sometimes insensitive form of interaction.
I'm really careful with the words I say to children 93% of the time, and when I'm not I take a moment to point out where I said the wrong thing, or said it the wrong way, always adding "You know, Grown-Ups make mistakes, too". I've said this line many, many times, and I will never stop saying it. I will repeat this line indefinitely in hopes that every child I teach will become a Grown-Up unafraid to make mistakes, and willing to accept responsibility when they do.
Ani DiFranco sings "Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right" and words are powerful tools. I have both relished and cringed at the moments I have heard my words repeated by a Little Person.
We've become a society that likes to give orders. I think it started innocently:"Have a nice day", "Drive safely", "Don't be a stranger" but loving or not, these phrases are all still orders. And over time we've dropped the 'I' in these orders: "Love you", "Just wanted to say hi", "Thinking about sushi for dinner". We Grown-Ups are able to understand all the implied generosity and intimacy that these subject-less orders hold, but when we speak to children like this we are modelling an abrupt, and sometimes insensitive form of interaction.
I'm really careful with the words I say to children 93% of the time, and when I'm not I take a moment to point out where I said the wrong thing, or said it the wrong way, always adding "You know, Grown-Ups make mistakes, too". I've said this line many, many times, and I will never stop saying it. I will repeat this line indefinitely in hopes that every child I teach will become a Grown-Up unafraid to make mistakes, and willing to accept responsibility when they do.